A Love Letter To My Husband

I always share with you all the mushy things my hubby writes to me, but after I was writing a portion of a letter to him I thought it might make a good blog post so you could see it from my side.  This letter I’m writing to him is ridiculously long right now because this is only a portion, but I thought I’d share so here I go….

I love you just so much.  You are just too adorable.  That’s right, I said it…my persistent felon convict husband is just too mother fucking adorable.  MWAH!

Every once in a while I ponder how I got here.  I really BELIEVED I had something with R.  I thought that was real and you only saw part of my hurt Honey.  By the time you came in I was just desperate and bitter, lol.  Devastated happened at the beginning of January.  Actually it started in September and came to a head in January and C was just a momentary lapse of reason.

And there you were….good looking, but WAYYYYYY too Baba for me, lol.  And even if I could get past the Baba thing there was no way I could do NINE FUCKING YEARS!  End of story right?  But then you just AMAZED me Baby.  Just little by little showing me how spectacular you are.  Always being my cheerleader, always being THERE.  Those 2-3 time a week phone calls came to be treasured.  I didn’t even realize that I was setting myself up to fall HARD.   All I knew was that I looked forward to them and they ALWAYS made me smile.  I was so giddy for that half hour and back then it was JUST the half hour.  Made Warren sick when he was here, lol.

Yup, you were my best friend and confidante.  I was talking/writing to you more than anybody.  At that time I was probably communicating with you in one way or another more than ANYONE – friends or family and that’s how it grew.  And I was just rolling along, never realizing the magnitude of what this had all become.  And then that first visit and I was SO NERVOUS, and I didn’t even REALIZE how nervous until I couldn’t remember your damn DIN!  I remember the drive from Mom’s to see you.  I don’t remember how long it was, but I remember driving like a bat outta hell hoping I wouldn’t get pulled over for speeding.  I remember watching the road signs and trying to estimate how much further I had to go.  I was SO EXCITED!  I was going to go meet the man who’d become my best friend for the first time.

I don’t know if I told you this but I specifically asked where you’d be coming out from because I wanted to see you the moment you came out.  My eyes were LOCKED in that direction until you appeared and then you walked out with that great big smile on your face and I kissed you and I hugged you and I bit ya!  My little hug with my teeth and you whined like a bitch like I’d REALLY hurt you, you big baby. :P

And it still hadn’t hit me Honey.  The whole Cupid thing was cute, but I really just thought that you were putting on.  Playing with me like I did you when I acted all offended that you weren’t checking out my ass, lol.  We had a good time and that was it right?

And then the post visit letters started rolling in and it was like, “OH MY GOD!  Now what?!?”  That was really the first time I ACKNOWLEDGED my feelings Honey.  Before that I was just FEELING them.  Now with all these confessions from you I had to confront my own and I think the only reason I held onto my heart for so long was because I just didn’t want to do that time.  I didn’t think I could DO that time.  But when I did sit down to confront it, I realized just how good of a fit you were for me.  That was the first step but I still had the hurdle of your time to get over.  Honestly it was TEN YEARS because this was December 2010 and your parole eligibility date is November 2020.  That was A LOT and I thought, “How could I DO this?”

That was my only reservation.  Friends would point out to me all that I’d be giving up but it didn’t feel like I was giving up much to be with the one I love, but that time was a killer.  And I thought back to my days in Emotions Anonymous and thought, “I’ll do it one day at a time. ‘Just for today I will try to live through this day only, not tackling all of my problems at once.  I can do something at this moment that would discourage me if I had to continue it for a lifetime.”  And that was it.  That’s where my decision was made.

Baby I love you so much.  I love your Baba accent!  I love picking on it more, but I love everything that you are.  I love when you’re a righteous little bad ass and I love when you’re mushy.  I love your swagger and I love when you talk dirty to me.  I love when you confide in me and I love how you sound when I piss you off. :P  I love how you use actions AND words to show me how much you love me and let me know how important I am to you, like when you stand outside freezing your ballies off just to talk to me.

You had to prove your love to me before I could even think of returning it in kind, but you did that.  You did it 100 times over Baby and I feel so blessed to have your hot, sexy ass in my life.  I love you now until my last breath Honey so just remember that.

Hope you all enjoyed.

9 thoughts on “A Love Letter To My Husband

  1. Awwww….. I cant find my big smiley face thingys cos i’m crap on a computer! but if i could…..i’d put em all in a line here! !!!!!!!! Lovely!

  2. I was with a man for 13 years and have beautiful twins with him . He is serving 47 to life ! When he came into my life I was at my all time low as my 4 yr old little boy had just passed away….I always felt he saved my life !We renewed our wedding vows on our 10 yr wedding anniversary . I made the mistake of divorcing him in 2003 soon after when he was planning his escape from the maximum facility he was housed at ……….My life was a down hill spiral after that ……He had been my other half my everything ….we knew what we were both thinking , we got vibes when one another had something wrong and he would call me , we finished each others sentances ….Being that he has life we even planned pur death to be by each others side when old and gray . We felt like Romeo and Juliette . We had only seen each other twice in 05 but I brought his daughter to visit last week and it was like there was never ever a time lapse between us ….we were stiil that un breakable bonded couple . And when he grabbed me and kissed me I fell inlove with him all over again . He still is my everything after a total of 22 years …Just wanted to share with you as you have with all of us : )

  3. Hunnie, forgive me for not replying to your blog sooner. You are such a sweet and strong soul that you give me inspiration to read your words. I hope that you remain positive in all you do. I am sending love to you both and wishing you the very best of good times to come. Nette xx

  4. Thank you for your letter. I am dating someone in prison now, and I find it harder each day. I love him dearly. I find it hard to share my feelings or intimacy through the mail. I am not wanting our love to fade in 48 months.

    • It’s hard, but not so hard. 48 months – if you WANT it, will not be so hard. You’ll be AMAZED at how the time can pass so slowly and yet quickly at the same time. Crazily enough, it was the intimacy shared through letters that brought us together. I actually put my thoughts on paper rather well and I just wrote him a letter that I’m hoping will settle an argument that we ALWAYS seem to have. When we’re in it, I’m defensive and so is he, but I’m hoping this letter allows him to better see my point of view so that he doesn’t feel hurt. Anyway, good luck and if you want to chat, I’m here.

      • I completely understand where you are coming from. I think. I think it has been hard for me adjusting to all this. I’ve only known a shorter time, so I an left with communicating and getting to know him via mail. I also feel as though we have arguments about the same stuff, that would never be happening if he was out, if that makes sense. I just need the time to go quicker. It’s hard to live my life and stay busy, when part if me is always with him in there.. I love a prisoner , so part of me stays in prison.

      • I know that feeling. I was recently speaking with a counselor about another matter. Of course in trying to get a full picture of my life, this came up and she asked me WHY I married someone in prison who could do “nothing” for me. Kind of hard to explain to others. I was just glad that I managed to keep it about the issue I was there for, instead of getting it completely derailed about my other life choices which TRULY have nothing to do with the matter at hand.

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